The issue of Letting Go

Most of the people can move on their lives easily... Imagine that a married couple or life partners whom have been together even more than 10 years have the CAPABILITY TO face with the BREAKDOWN of their togetherness... However, people who have a low self-esteem are the VICTIMS of moving on from ANYONE whom comes to their lives... I know that it really sounds HORRIBLE... Honestly, it has been 12 years and I still could not MOVE ON FROM MY EX BF... Does that make me really a NUTTY PERSON? I guess so!!! How come a person can still love someone whom will never return back? It happens... Look, life is a LESSON... Whatever the lesson is, we need to LEARN IT!!! However, I also started to grow very deep feelings for another DICK MAN... YEAH, THE ONE, known as NEO! FUCK HIM!!! I can't move on from THIS KEANU since 4 years, too... I am very sorry but how come I love BOTH DIFFERENT MEN at the same time? It happens... No one believes that I love both of them due to the fact that they are judgmental... They are telling me that I love ONLY ONE... EITHER MY EX OR THE JOHN DICK HEADED!!! I am telling that I LOVE BOTH... Maybe I love MY EX BF more, but time to time I love NEO FUCKER MORE... This is really like a bucket of SHIT... IT does not HURT because I do not get HURT anymore... I got USED TO FEEL THIS WAY...

Well, AM I READY FOR THE THIRD ONE? THAT IS A FUCKING IDIOTIC QUESTION... HOW CAN I BE READY FOR THE THIRD MAN? It's a MESS...It's like reading a book that has NO HAPPY ENDING... I STILL LOVE SUCH A BOOK THOUGH... What is the real reason I DO NOT MOVE ON FROM THESE GUYS? I DO NOT COMPREHEND IT... I can not commit to ANYONE in my life... I can not get physically close to ANYONE in my life... Then, how can I manage to HAVE FEELINGS FOR THEM? I only KNOW ONE THING: I REALLY LOVE THEM BOTH... IT CHANGES A LOT... EVERYDAY, I HATE THEM AND I LOVE THEM... LOL!!!

If you are a freak, you can experience such a TRAUMATIC suffering... If it is really a SUFFERING, WHY ONE SHOULD STAND ON SUCH A SUFFERING? What's the point? As I told before, IT TEACHES ME A VERY GOOD LESSON. I am just struggling to learn the LESSON... I RESIST NOT TO LEARN AND I CONTINUE TO SUFFER...

Third one will come... I feel he will come... I do not know when he will come... Love will find me AGAIN.... I DO NOT LOOK FOR LOVE, IT FINDS ME AND IT FUCKS ME UP... IT FUCKS MY EMOTIONS... I AM NEVER BALANCED AND I GET WORSE... The third man will make me LOVE HIM MUCH? I have no idea, IT DEPENDS ON HIS EFFORT... The third one should try maybe more than 4 years to BE WITH ME PSYCHICALLY OR TO MAKE ME OPENED UP TOWARDS HIM... FUCK THE THIRD ONE, AS WELL...

I just would like to know that if the third one can CHOOSE ME AS A PARTNER... The others could not CHOOSE ME... They were mummies' BOYS! They were INSECURE AND CHILDISH AND SO WEAK AND THEY NEVER HAD ANY REAL MANLY SKILLS... The third one can be a very STRONG MAN... Or, the third one can be as others... Then, here the dilemma starts again... IT WILL BE THE SAME FUCKING EXPERIENCE... Welcome to the USELESS LIST OF MEN... WELCOME TO MY WORLD... The universe gives US what we do not LOOK FOR... In my culture, there is an AWESOME saying as follows: " The third one has the CHARM!!!" LOL! I like to LIE MYSELF A LOT...:)

I guess I won't be ABLE TO SETTLE DOWN... I am not in a hurry to SETTLE DOWN, but whomever I WANT TO BE TOGETHER, THEY GIVE ME NO CHANCE... THEY LOVE ME MUCH... THEY CARE ABOUT ME MUCH IN THEIR OWN WEIRD WAYS, BUT THAT IS ALL... I DO NOT MOVE ON... Obviously, I won't be able to MOVE ON till I meet someone ELSE... It can happen in 10 years time... I guess I NEED TO HEAL MY WOUNDS... I learned that one person CAN NEVER MAKE YOU FORGET the OTHER ONE at all... Then, why DO OTHERS MOVE ON? What is the real reason for me to have no CAPACITY TO MOVE ON? I do not know IT... I JUST WANT ONE OF THESE MEN TO SHOW UP AND COME TO ME... THEY ARE BOTH USELESS... THEY ARE BOTH SINGLE... ONE FUCKS AROUND ONLINE AND DATES AROUND... OTHER ONE HAS NO GF, NEVER DATES... THEY ARE BOTH NOT A GOOD CHOICE... 

IF LOVE REALLY EXISTS BETWEEN ME AND THEM, HOW COME IT CAN NOT UNITE US AT ALL? I THINK THIS IS A VERY VERY SENSITIVE QUESTION TO CONSIDER ABOUT... When someone is not your favor, UNIVERSE NEVER GIVES YOU THAT PERSON... You may regard universe as a GOD, as well.. I am a nonbeliever and a REAL ATHEIST!!! So, I do not think that GOD DOES NOT GIVE ME THESE MEN TO PROTECT ME... I feel that universe does not GIVE THESE MEN to me because IT WON'T WORK WITH THEM... Then, TO BE HONEST, I AM FINE ALONE... I CAN LOVE THEM... I KNOW THEY BOTH LOVE ME... HOW CAN I BE SURE? IF YOU ARE A GENUINE PSYCHIC, YOU CAN BE VERY SURE...

LOVE IS NOT THE ANSWER FOR ME, NEITHER FOR THEM... MOVING ON IS NOT WHAT I WANT... Thus, I won't MOVE ON FROM THESE FUCKERS... I AM OBSESSED WITH BOTH OF THEM AND I WANT BOTH OF THEM SO MUCH... ONE DAY, I WANT ONE MORE THAN THE OTHER... THEN, PEOPLE ASK ME MANY TIMES WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE? FUCK LOVE DEARIES... LOVE IS LONELINESS... LOVE IS MELANCHOLY AND LOVE IS SUFFERING... THEREFORE, THAT IS THE REAL LOVE... 

Love Expert...

PS: I might continue to give LECTURES about moving on... If I MOVE ON, I WILL STILL THINK ABOUT THEM AND HAVE A FUCK WITH THE THIRD ONE... I CAN IMAGINE THEM WHILE FUCKING THE THIRD... YEAH, I TOLD YOU FUCKERS... I'M NASTY AND VERY NAUGHTY...:)

LOVE IS IN OUR HEARTS... LOVE IS GOLDEN, LOVE IS LOVE... LOVE IS WHAT I NEVER LOOK FOR... 

WHERE ARE YOU THE THIRD ONE? :) LOOOOOOOL LOOOOOOOOOOL LOOOOL!!!!

Hope, you all LEARNED SOMETHING FROM my perspective TOWARDS THE ISSUE OF Moving ON!!!

All the Best Fuckers...